Pretending
by VGWrighte
Summary: One event killed Jack O'Neill in one reality, his wife Samantha Carter in another. The widow/er meet up in a different reality. Maybe they should just pretend. "Ripple Effect" tag.
1. Chapter 1

Pretending

Chapter I

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

Rating: PG

Takes place during "Ripple Effect."

- . - - - . -

There were so many of them. Passing three of them in the hallway and now, sitting in the corner of a room that held a dozen or more of them was surreal, to say the least. He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't believe it.

Some of them looked exactly the same. Some of them looked very different. But there was no questioning who they were.

Samantha Carter.

Every one of them. Each from a different reality. A band of tape on their arms labeled them. Hank was labeling teams with the same letter to keep track of everyone. Personally, Jack was a "Foxtrot."

He stared at all the Samantha Carters milling around the room, trying to solve this problem. Each one of them seemed to love digging into the finer points of theoretical quantum mechanics. He watched them carefully, noticing the differences and pinning them onto the different women.

"Lima" had long hair. "Golf" was much more timid than the others. "Delta" had these big glasses that made her look like a complete nerd. And "Foxtrot" . . . There wasn't a Foxtrot.

Foxtrot Carter . . . His Carter . . . His _Samantha_ had been dead for two years.

"You look out of place," one of those Carters said.

Jack looked up in order to identify her. November. Last he had heard, only 13 teams had come through the 'gate. Apparently, they were up to at least 14. "So do you."

She gave him a quizzical look. "You're the one in the room with a bunch of Sam Carters."

"You're the one not scribbling quantum mechanics."

"Touché."

He gave her a smirk in reward for their banter. She was the first he had actually spoken to since he got here. He just couldn't build up the courage before. He was glad she broke the ice.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked.

"It's not my reality," he responded, gesturing to the chair next to him.

She chuckled. "Not mine either." She sat down, resting her forearms on her knees.

"I noticed, November."

She chuckled softly again. "You can call me by my first name, Jack."

_At the sound of his name, he turned his head away from the television to see his wife standing in the doorway of the living room. She was wearing a t-shirt. Only a t-shirt. Her long - long, long, long, LONG - legs jutting right out of the bottom of the XL._

_Jack, being the smart man he was, turned off the television and jumped up to his wife. She took his hand and turned, pulling him with her._

"Jack?"

He shook his head. "Sorry. Got distracted there for a minute." There was something about the way she said his name. It was so familiar, but this was Samantha Carter, after all. "Sam it is."

She gave him a sad smile.

"What?" he questioned her expression.

"You haven't called me that in a long time."

"_I've_ never called you that.'

"I meant -"

He nodded. "I know what you meant."

They sat quietly for a moment, watching the other Carters move around the room.

"So how come you're not crunching numbers with the rest of this MENSA chapter?"

"I'd rather sit here with you for a couple minutes."

"Really? They're probably better company than I am," he gestured to the room.

"You're dead where I come from," she said plainly. He almost swore that he felt her move closer to him.

Jack nodded slowly. "Small multiverse," he said. "So are you."

A Daniel walked through the door. Jack looked at his sleeve, November. He must've come in with the Sam sitting next to him. "Hey, there you are," he said, spotting the giant N on Sam's sleeve. "I've been looking for you. I ran into about four of you on the way here."

"More teams came in?" Sam asked.

"They're up to Papa, now."

Sam glanced over at Jack. "Look who I found."

Daniel smiled. "Yeah. I spent the last half hour talking to one. In Lima, I am living on Abydos with Sha're and we have three kids."

"That's great, Daniel," Sam said.

Daniel let the sentiment stand for a minute. "Anyway, General Landry wants us. He's trying to debrief everyone, and we're up."

Sam stood, but turned back to him. "I'll meet up with you later, okay?"

Jack nodded. "I'll be here."

He watched them leave together. There was something about her. There was something about November Samantha Carter. She was just so . . . familiar. So much more familiar than the rest of them.

"November" Carter was a lot like his wife.

- . -

November Carter followed November Daniel out into the corridor and into the elevator. When the doors shut, he turned sharply to her. "You need to stop," he said firmly.

She was taken back by his tone. "What?"

"You know what." He held her gaze. It was the first time she ever felt smaller than him. "Trying to replace what you've lost."

She opened her mouth to remind him that he had spent the day speaking with another Jack O'Neill.

"Don't pretend that you and I were doing the same thing," he answered before she could voice it. "He's dead, Sam," his tone softened a little. "He's been dead for two years."

Those words brought tears to her eyes. She squeezed them shut and clenched her jaw. It had been two years, and she usually didn't react like this. But, seeing him today . . .

Daniel wrapped his arms around her and held her tight for a minute. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

She shook him off after a moment. "No, you're right," she agreed, finding her voice. "That man's not my husband. My husband's been dead for two years."

- . - A few hours later

"Hey!" Sam tried not to visibly cringe when she heard Jack O'Neill come up behind her. It was Foxtrot, she knew, the one that was very much like her husband. "There you are." She turned to see him smiling, he was more than a little glad to see her, she could tell. "For there being a ton of yous around here, you are one difficult lady to track down."

She forced a smile for him.

"Where have you been?"

"Honestly?" She waited for him to nod. "I've been avoiding you."

His expression sunk. "Why?"

Sam took a deep breath in preparation of the bombshell she was about to drop. Reaching into her left breast pocket, she pulled out a photograph and handed it to him. "This is our daughter. Her name is Grace and she never knew her father."

He stared at the picture for a long time without saying a word. He finally looked up at her for a brief moment with a sad smile. "She's gorgeous." He just stared at the picture. After several moments, he spoke again, this time without looking up. "You died before we had a chance to have a baby," he said in a far away voice.

They were married in his reality too, for some reason she had expected that. Sam looked around, suddenly feeling very crowded. "Come on," she took his arm and pulled gently.

"What?" he looked up, suddenly aware that they were moving.

"I have an idea."

She took him to the stairwell - seldom used in a complex that had 29 sub levels. They sat down on one of the stairs, very close to each other. Jack returned to staring at the photograph.

"If we get a way home," she said, "you can have that."

"Really?" he smiled. "Thanks." He kept the picture in his hand, but focused on her. "When did you and . . . um . . . _me_ get together?"

Sam thought back. "About four years. It was after we crashed a mothership into the ocean."

He looked at her with shock.

"What?"

"Me too."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he started to explain. "We were trapped in a little hallway that was filling up with water. By the time Thor opened the door, you weren't breathing. And - And when I got you to breath, you grabbed on to me and said-"

"_I'm done with this game, Jack,_" she interrupted, recalling her own words.

"And so things were different," he said, taking over. They were telling the same story, he was sure of it.

He talked about how she was transferred to a different team. She talked about how they were upfront with Hammond. He talked about how after seven weeks they finally went on a date. She blushed when she mentioned the first time he had slept at her house. The more they talked, the more they realized that they were from very similar places.

"I wonder where the divergence point is."

He gave her a blank stare.

"The divergence point. The event that had two different outcomes, splitting one reality into two."

"You're dead in my world," Jack said softly.

Sam nodded, her excitement over the intricacies of the timestream gone. "Yeah, you too. Maybe that was it."

"It was a routine mission to -666. There was an ambush, five SG teams were sent in to get everyone out." Jack cleared his throat. "You, Daniel, and Fraiser went to go get Airman Wells. Daniel had a camera on him. He - um - He recorded you catching a staff blast in the chest."

Sam leaned into him more. She couldn't believe it was so similar. "Janet got shot on that mission, and so did you. I didn't find out I was pregnant until later."

Jack looked down at the picture in his hands. If he were a man who cried, he would've cried then.

"Jack?" Sam moved to see his face, sensing his mood sink further. She saw him staring at the picture and it all made sense to her. She was pregnant on the mission that Jack got killed. He was now thinking that his wife had been pregnant on the mission she had been killed. "Just because I was pregnant doesn't mean she was."

He didn't take his eyes off the picture. "But what if she was?"

"Oh, Jack," she tried to comfort him. She pulled his head to her shoulder, he went willingly. Stroking his hair, she held him tight. Sam kissed his temple once, twice. Then her kisses trailed down the side of his face, which he tilted up to meet her.

They both continued the kiss. It was almost like he had come back to her after so long. She let the kiss continue for too long before pulling back, shaking her head.

"No, no, this isn't right. It's not fair." She paused, taking a deep breath. "It's not fair, to either one of us. I shouldn't be trying to replace what I've lost."

His hand stilled on her back, and his gaze held hers. Several seconds passed. "What if we pretend?"

"What?"

"What if we pretend that we're what we lost. I won't mind if you do, as long as I can too."

She pulled him to her and held him tight. "Jack, I miss you so much." Then she started to cry.

He made her lean back a little, bringing his forehead to hers. "Don't cry, Sam. Please don't cry." He kissed her in an attempt to banish her tears. It worked a little. He tried a different approach. "Tell me about her," he held the picture of their - her - daughter between them.

She settled leaning into him. "She's . . . perfect."

Jack smiled. "Well, I assumed that."

Sam shook her head. "I don't know where to start." She paused, thinking. "She's a giggler. To her, everything is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Daniel makes her laugh the most, I think. He uses silly voices. She really likes General Hammond, too. She's always trying to touch his head. I just don't think she understands that he just doesn't have hair."

They both chuckled.

"And Teal'c, she loves Teal'c. 'T' might be her first word, I'm thinking. Last winter, we all went out to the parade. Teal'c had the baby pack on his front and zipped her up into his coat. She was giggling and happy right up until she fell asleep. His body temperature is a little warmer than ours, I think that might be why."

Jack chuckled. "He may appear to be tough, but he's just a giant kitten, isn't he?"

Sam laughed, leaning into him tighter. "The biggest."

- . -

"I've been looking for you," a voice new to the commissary said.

Sam looked up to see Daniel, she glanced at his arm to make sure he was her Daniel and she wasn't about to launch into a fifteen minute conversation with the wrong person, which had happened earlier that day. A giant "N" was on his arm, so it was alright.

Even though he was the correct Daniel, she didn't really want to talk to him. Her eyes flicked past him for a second, before meeting his gaze. "You were?"

He nodded. "I came by your quarters this morning and Mike," Mike Sam Carter, he meant, her roommate, "said you left early."

Sam nodded, trying not to look guilty. "Yeah, I got up early to go work out. I'm trying not to think about Grace." That was almost true. She was missing her daughter, and trying not to think about what would happen if she didn't go home.

He smiled with that "_I'm Daniel and I understand_" face he had. "We've got - what? 17 - 18 Samantha Carters working on this problem? We're going to get home. Grace won't even realize you were gone."

Sam smiled, he did know how to make her feel better.

"They didn't have chocolate cake."

Daniel's smile quickly faded and he turned to see Jack O'Neill behind him holding a cup of Jell-O and a slice of what looked like apple spice cake. He wasn't a fan of carrot cake, but he did like apple spice.

Jack flashed a big grin, moving past Daniel and sitting next to her, handing her the cup of blue Jell-O, as if there were any other kind. "How's it going Daniel? Talking old-timey stuff with the other yous?"

Daniel forced a smile. "Oh, you know, Jack. It's some of the best conversation I've had in years."

Jack chuckled, digging into his cake.

"Sam, you got a minute," Daniel asked, making a jerking motion with his head.

"I'll be right back," she said to Jack as she stood.

"Don't let your Jell-O get gross," he said.

She smiled and followed Daniel into the hall.

"What are you doing?" he asked once the doors had closed, leaving Jack oblivious on the other side.

"Having dessert," she said. Yep, that was a stupid answer.

"Sam," he drew out the syllable in disbelief.

"We're not doing anything wrong," she immediately defended herself. Well, that wasn't 100% true.

_Sam sat on Jack's lap, kissing him. Both of her hands cupped his face possessively, and his hands gripped her hips tightly._

_Okay, so he wasn't her husband. Okay, so she snuck out of her room to spend time with - okay, make out, they were making out - with Jack O'Neill. Okay, so she lied when she saw Cam on the way here. But, God, he felt good._

_She shifted on his lap, causing him to squeeze her hips for a moment and groan into her mouth._

_One of his hands slid up her side._

_She released his face, sliding one hand to his neck and using the other to comb some of her hair out of the way. He took the opening and his lips latched onto her neck._

_She gripped the hair at the back of his head and directed his mouth back to hers. His hand ran up and down her side, making her wish he had slid his hand under her shirt._

_"Jack," she moaned, releasing him for a second._

_He rested his forehead in the crook of her neck, recovering his breath. "Sam."_

_She released a small moan at the way he said her name._

_"Sam, I want to . . ." he trailed off, unwilling or unable to say the words._

_She squeezed her eyes shut, "Me too," she confessed._

_"We shouldn't," he admitted._

_"No," she shook her head a little, "No, we shouldn't." Gathering strength, she moved off his lap and sat next to him, leaning against him. He put his arm over her shoulders and rested his head on hers._

Daniel eyed her as if he didn't believe her. And, to tell the truth, he was more than a little justified. "Just . . ." he sighed. "Just think about when we have to go home."

- . -

They had eaten dinner together, and now they were sitting in their little stairwell, leaning up against each other. "Daniel told you to stop spending time with me, didn't he?" Jack asked after a long while.

"Yeah," Sam replied, seeing no reason to lie.

He looked down at her. "He might be right."

Sam nodded. "Yeah."

He leaned down to kiss her, which she allowed and reciprocated. Holding on to her with one hand, he put to other down behind her to brace himself as he leaned over, pressing his body into hers.

"Who cares what Daniel thinks, anyway?"

- . - - - . -


	2. Chapter 2

Pretending

Chapter II

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

Rating: T

RATING NOTICE: ONE CURSE WORD

Takes place during "Ripple Effect."

- . - - - . -

Sam leaned back against Jack, his arms around her. One of her hands rested on his knee, the other lightly gripped his forearm around her stomach. She might have actually fallen asleep for a little while, but she wasn't sure.

She tilted her head and glanced at her watch. She sighed.

"What?" Jack asked.

"I promised Mike I'd go over the proof she was finishing up this morning," she said referring to her temporary roommate. "I should go."

He squeezed her side. "Want to meet up for dinner?"

Twisting her body to look up at him, she smiled. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

He shrugged. "Naw, just - you know - if you're not busy, and I'm not busy," he feigned non-chalance.

She kissed his lips. "A dinner date sounds good." She stood up, and offered him her hand to pull him up with her. "What are you going to do?"

"Oh, I don't know," he stretched his arms up. "Go hang out with Teal'c, probably. Daniel'll want to know where I was and who I was with and . . . Mitchell never shuts up."

Sam laughed. "Cam's a bit of a talker, isn't he?"

"A bit?"

They opened the door back to the corridor and left their private stairwell behind. Trading a few jokes and jibes at their teammates.

"Sir!"

Their laughter died and they both turned. Cameron Mitchell, Foxtrot.

"Sir," he took a few jogging steps to catch up with them. "Hey, Sam," he smiled at her before turning back to Jack. "Daniel was looking for you, Sir."

Jack sighed, ever suffering. "Of course he was."

Cam's expression changed, hinting suspicion. "Where were you two?"

Sam put on her best poker face. "Oh, around. Big base, you know. 29 sub levels."

Cam nodded slowly.

"Sam!" Sam and Jack turned at the new voice.

Cameron Mitchell, November.

Sam sighed. "Hi, Cam."

"Oh, weird," he said, looking at the Foxtrot version of himself. He shook it off. "Did you guys hear? Alpha and Bravo are taking the Prometheus out and fixin' this."

"What?" Jack asked.

"I don't know. Something about a warhead, and a bridge and an explosion. I don't know, but it's supposed to work." He paused, bobbing his head back and forth. "Well, either work or blow them all into nothin'. But they're hopeful."

"So this means we're going home?" Foxtrot Mitchell asked.

"Yes it does," November Mitchell responded with a big grin.

Sam and Jack looked at each other, ignoring the two Mitchells and trying to hide the sullen expressions on their faces.

"Hey, guys, isn't this great?" one of the Cam's asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, it's great."

"What if we get lunch now, instead," Jack asked, ignoring Cam. "I think I'm in the mood for some blue Jell-O."

Sam didn't answer, but took his hand and pulled him away from the Cams, heading towards the commissary.

The Cams looked at each other. They both knew what was going on. They both knew it wasn't good.

- . -

After lunch, Jack walked back into the small bunkroom he was sharing with the rest of his team and the male members of Echo-SG-1. Daniel, Teal'c, and Mitchell stood as he entered the room. He didn't like the expressions on their faces. He felt like he just walked into an intervention.

"Where have you been?" Daniel asked.

Yep, intervention.

"Oh, around," he replied as nonchalantly as he could manage.

"Around where?" Daniel asked.

"And who?" Mitchell added.

Jack shrugged and started to remove his jacket. "The base, and SG-1."

"Damnit Jack," Daniel took a sharp step towards him. "We know you were with her."

Jack sat down on the bunk and started on his boots. "Then why are we having this conversation?"

"Because your wife is dead," Daniel snapped.

"We were just talking!" Jack shot back.

"About what?" Mitchell asked.

Jack glanced at Teal'c, standing a few feet from him in expected silence. "I don't know. Stuff."

"What _stuff_?" Mitchell repeated.

"Does it matter?" Jack asked.

Daniel took a sharp step forward again. "It matters that you can't tell us, Jack."

"Our daughter! Okay? We were talking about our daughter."

"No!" Daniel pointed at him and then pointed towards the door angrily. "You were talking about her daughter. About _their_ daughter!" He continued gesturing sharply at him, clearly showing his agitation. "You don't have a daughter and you never did!"

"You don't know that, Daniel!" Jack shot to his feet and advanced defensively. "Because we'll never know if Sam was pregnant when she got killed, will we?"

"No, we will not, O'Neill," Teal'c said, taking a step forward. "We will never know if your wife was carrying your child," his voice was soft, yet firm. "Either way, it is acceptable to mourn a life that was taken from you. But do not make things worse. Do not let yourself lose her, or them, again."

Jack stared at him, trying to stay angry, but Teal'c's almost empathetic face cooled his nerves.

"I'm not going to lose her again," he said.

"Sir, you're already too close to this," Mitchell said, his tone softened to reflect the mood of the room.

Daniel nodded. "He's right, Jack. You're already too invested in her. And you're going to lose her again because she can't come with us."

That was it. Why didn't he think of it before. It was the perfect solution.

Jack smiled. "Daniel, you're a genius."

"What?"

Grinning, he started to put his jacket back on. "You're a genius."

Daniel glanced at Mitchell and Teal'c, baffled. "Jack, what are you talking about?"

Jack turned back to him with a grin at the door. "I'll go with her."

"Wait! That's not what I said." Daniel started to follow him out the door, but Mitchell grabbed his shoulder.

"I think it's time to get some help," he suggested.

- . -

Sam sat in the commissary with Daniel. He was being very quiet, which concerned her. He kept looking up every time the doors opened. She took a sip of the tea in front of her and peered over the math proof she was reading. There was definitely something up.

The door opened again and they were joined by two people, Cam and Teal'c. She glanced at their sleeves just to double check they were from her reality.

Daniel cleared his throat after a moment.

Sam put down the math proof and looked at him. His expression concerned her. She glanced at Cam, who featured a similar expression. Even the look on Teal'c's face was concerning. "What?"

"Sam, I warned you about this. I told you not to, but you didn't listen to me," Daniel said. His voice was stern, but disappointed.

She forced a shrug. "I don't know what you're talking about," she lied.

"Sam," Cam said in a warning tone. "You know exactly what we're talking about."

She opened her mouth to protest, but didn't when the commissary doors swung open quickly as a Jack O'Neill burst through them.

"Sam!" he said, stopping in front of her with a smile.

"Jack, what is it?" She stood.

"I'll just go with you," he explained.

Cam and Daniel shot to their feet. "WHAT?"

Neither Sam nor Jack took their eyes off each other to acknowledge the others.

_"SG-1s Foxtrot and November," _Walter's voice came over the loudspeakers_, "Please report to the briefing room for a meeting with General Landry. SG-1s Foxtrot and November to the briefing room."_

- . -

Foxtrot SG-1 sat on one side of the table, and November on the other. General Landry sat at the head of the table. He was silent for a few moments, carefully surveying everyone in the room. "Alright, does anyone want to tell us why we're here?" he asked.

Foxtrot Daniel raised his hand, "I'll start." He took a deep breath. "Two years ago, Samantha Carter was killed off world on a rescue mission. At the time, she was married to Jack O'Neill." He gestured to the other Daniel to continue.

November Daniel cleared his throat. "Where I'm from, two years ago, Jack O'Neill was killed off world on a rescue mission. He left his wife, Samantha Carter," he gestured to Sam sitting next to him, "and their unborn child."

General Landry nodded. "So, why is this a problem?"

Foxtrot Daniel spoke again. "Because from what we can tell, is that mission was the divergence point of our" he made a broad handwaving motion referring to both SG-1s in the room "realities."

"Again, I don't see the problem."

"The two of them," Foxtrot Mitchell pointed sharply at Sam and Jack and raising his voice, "have been . . . _fraternizing_. And now _he_ wants to go home with them."

"Is that so wrong?" Jack asked, having had enough of staring at his hands like a kid in the principal's office.

"YES, JACK! It is wrong," Foxtrot Daniel shouted. "It's wrong and it's selfish!"

"Selfish?" Jack hissed.

"Yes, selfish!" Daniel jumped to his feet. "You're abandoning an entire reality so you can betray your wife's memory and fuck some cheap copy!"

"HEY! HEY!" Jack jumped to his feet. "Shut your mouth! And this isn't about her, this is about our daughter!"

November Daniel jumped in, "She's not YOUR daughter. Her father is dead! I carried his body through the stargate! A giant gaping hole in his chest!"

General Landry stood, "That's enough!"

Everyone fell silent and fell back into their seats.

"I can see why you needed help with this." He surveyed the faces at the table. "Colonel Carter, you want him to come with you?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, Sir. I do."

"And if you didn't have a child? Be honest."

She looked at Jack for a long time before turning back to Landry. "I would want him to come with me, but I know that it wouldn't be fair and I wouldn't ask."

"Jack?" Landry said, asking the same question.

"If she didn't have a baby, I wouldn't've said anything."

Landry nodded. "And I assume everyone else wants to go their separate ways like they came?"

"Well, Sir," November Daniel said, "I can think of worse things than having Jack O'Neill alive again, but . . . It's not right. Experiencing the death of one of my best friends was terrible and I would not wish that on anyone else, just so I could have them back. He's . . . I'm?" He paused for a second, deciding what to call the other _Daniel_ in the room. "Foxtrot is right. It's selfish."

"I find myself trying to make a difficult decision, choosing the good of a child over altering some great multi-dimensional plan. None of you belong here, and Jack, you don't belong where they came from."

"Yeah, Sam," November Mitchell said, "Shouldn't there be some kind of problem with - I don't know - too much stuff in one universe and not in another?"

Foxtrot Mitchell pointed at his counterpart in agreement. "A bucket can only hold so much water."

Landry eyed them both. "What are the two of you talking about?"

"They have a point, Sir. The amount of energy in the universe is fixed. However, the Heisenberg principle would well account for the deviation in the energetic rest mass of one person, or two people, or . . . I mean, that's why this universe hasn't collapsed yet."

"Anybody get that?" Jack asked.

"I believe Colonel Carter was assuring us that the destruction of the universe cannot be caused by the overpopulation of one person. Your accompanying us would cause no problems in that respect," November Teal'c answered.

Jack's expression didn't change, he instead turned back to Landry. "What do you think, Hank? It's your base. If it was mine, I'd be following that team through the stargate when they went home."

Landry didn't answer.

"General, you can't seriously be considering this," Foxtrot Daniel said.

"It's interfering with the natural order of things," November Daniel added.

Landry scoffed. "Come now, Doctor Jackson, we mess with the natural order of things all the time."

Jack leaned forward with a smirk sneaking onto his face. "Is that yes?"

"No."

Jack fell back into his chair.

"But it's not a 'no' either. If I've learned anything in my time, it's get a second opinion. I will let you know when I make my decision. Until then, everyone plan on going back to where they came from." He got up and left, leaving the two SG-1s in silence.

After a few moments, everyone but Sam and Jack stood.

"Come on, Jack," Foxtrot Daniel said.

Jack didn't look at him, still furious about the lewd and cruel comment he had made. "I have nothing to say to you. So you can leave, and I'm going to spend some more time with my _wife_."

"She is not your -"

Jack cut him off as he jumped to his feet and advanced on him sharply. "NOT MY WHAT?"

Foxtrot Teal'c's hand found Jack's shoulder and Foxtrot Mitchell pulled Foxtrot Daniel back a little.

"O'Neill," Teal'c said, causing Jack to turn to him. "We do not act out of spite, but of concern. Each of us lost Samantha Carter. I would not wish experience her loss twice, and I cannot imagine what that would be like for her husband." Teal'c's calm reasoning sunk in for a moment. "We leave you to your own decisions."

With a glance to the November team, Foxtrot Teal'c followed his team out of the room. November Daniel glanced at Sam, he opened his mouth to speak but was suddenly at a loss for words. He shook his head and shrugged in defeat. "Be careful," he finally settled on before leaving the room with November Mitchell and Teal'c in his wake.

Jack and Sam stared at each other from across the table.

"We're not being selfish, are we?" Sam asked.

Jack slowly rounded the table and took a seat next to her. She turned to him and he took her hands in his. "Maybe a little. But I'm pretty confident that I can say if you didn't have a baby at home, I wouldn't be asking to go with you."

Sam stared at her hands. "I'm not." She could feel his confused gaze on her. She glanced up at him, but her eyes retreated again. "I've been clinically depressed since Grace was born." Tears welled in her eyes. "At first we all thought it was just post-partum, but . . ." Her tears made their way down her cheeks, she made no effort to wipe them away. "But then I realized that it started way before she was born, I just - I just didn't notice."

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. He held her tightly.

"What if he says no?" she asked.

"I'm not gonna lose you."

"Again?" she asked.

"No, not again," he shook his head. "For the first time. I'm not pretending anymore."

- . - - - . -


	3. Chapter 3

Pretending

Chapter III

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

Rating: PG

Takes place during "Ripple Effect."

- . - - - . -

Jack sat in a rocking chair with his daughter in his arms. She was asleep with her head on his shoulder. He had been rocking her back and forth for a while now. He wanted to hold her all the time. She was so cute, and so . . . important. And now that Hammond had finally let him off base, he couldn't spend enough time with her.

He had been stuck on base for two days while he was debriefed and brought back to life. Officially, the story was he had been presumed dead, but actually gone missing in action. He had been "recovered" three days ago and they hoped that no one would poke holes in the story.

Until they could get everything in line, Hammond wouldn't let Jack go anywhere.

_"I understand that the base isn't where you want to be, but we need a good story before someone sees a dead man walking around. Jack, you're going to have to stay here," General Hammond explained._

_"Sir, I need my daughter," Sam said._

_"Colonel, there's no reason for you to stay here. And as much as Rebecca loves Grace, I'm sure she'll be glad to return her to you."_

_"Thank you so much for asking your daughter to take her. You don't know how much better I feel now that I know she was safe and taken care of while I was gone."_

_Hammond smiled. "I'd say I was a concerned for her as you were, but that's probably not true."_

_"I'm sure you were close, Sir," Sam smiled. She knew Hammond loved Grace as much as he did his actual grandchildren. "I would really like . . ." she stumbled over her words._

_He held up his hand to stop her, "I'll call Rebecca now and she can meet you at home."_

_Sam glanced up at Jack. "Actually, Sir, could - um - she bring her here?"_

_"What?"_

_She shook her head. "Not into the Mountain, but topside. It's still secure enough that no one will see Jack, but . . ."_

_Hammond nodded. "I suppose that'll be okay, as long as no one tries to bolt."_

Jack smiled to himself as he rocked his daughter.

They had met Rebecca topside who cried when she saw Jack. Sam had cried when she saw Grace. Sam had clutched Grace to her chest and Rebecca had thrown herself at Jack. He hugged her back and smiled. They told Rebecca in "we do freaky stuff here" terms that he was "still" alive and that once everything was settled with the government, he was going home with Sam and Grace. She promised that her father would hold a party for him.

_They waved goodbye to Rebecca as she got in her car and left. Jack turned to Sam and the adorable baby in her arms._

_"What do you think, Daddy?" Sam asked._

_He didn't answer for a minute. "She's perfect," he finally decided on._

She was. She was completely perfect. Exactly the right size and proportions. She was cuddly and giggly, undoubtedly the child of Samantha Carter. She moved a little in his arms, burrowing deeper into his chest, it seemed.

He rubbed her back and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

He couldn't love her more than he did. He was so happy that she was getting comfortable with him. At first, she cried.

_Sam smiled and handed Grace to him. He took her in her arms, smiling at her. She took one look at him and burst into tears. Jack looked in horror on the face of the wailing child. He scared her, he couldn't believe he scared her._

_"Oh!" Sam reached for her sympathetically. Jack handed her back immediately, a horrified look on his face. "It's okay," she cooed. "You're okay." She stroked Grace's head and held her tight. "It's okay," she repeated._

_Once Grace started to quiet, Sam looked up at Jack, still sporting a horrified look. "Oh," she said in the exact same tone, "It's okay, Jack. She just doesn't you, yet."_

_He was just disappointed. "She doesn't know me."_

_"It's okay." She stepped up close to him and kissed him. "She'll learn." She gave him an encouraging smile. "I have an idea. C'mere," she took his hand and led him to the curb. She sat down, motioning him to do the same. Once he was seated, knees up and feet flat on the ground, Sam scooted over as close to him as she could get. She leaned against him and turned Grace around in her lap, so the baby could see them both. "If she sees both of us together, she'll associate you with me and she'll feel safe."_

_Jack tried to give her an encouraging smile, but he wasn't really buying it. Instead he reached out to Grace tentatively. He traced a few fingers over her clenched fist._

_She stared up at him with the biggest blue eyes he had ever seen._

Jack looked down. Her big blue eyes were closed, but when they were open they were so pretty. He was glad she had Sam's eyes. She had his nose, and maybe his mouth, he wasn't quite sure. He would have to watch her more to decide for sure.

She definitely looked like Sam. He was sure that she would grow up to look just like her. Jack smiled to himself, he better start getting ready to fight off the young men who were sure to be lining up at the door. He could see both of his parents in her too, and Jacob, but she was mostly Sam Carter, that was for sure.

They had simply sat together for a long while playing with Grace.

_Sam stood up, leaving Grace in his lap. He smiled at her, and Grace smiled back, thankfully. At least he wasn't scaring her right now. Sam returned with a Tupperware container. She took Grace back into her lap and handed Jack the container._

_He opened it. It contained goldfish. He took one, eyeing Grace watching him intently, and ate it, then offered the container to her._

_She stared at it and slowly reached for it. "Go ahead, Sweetheart," Sam encouraged. The little girl reached in and grabbed a fist full, and ate them._

_Jack smiled as she dropped half of them in front of her. As she munched on them, she picked the rest up off of herself and ate them one at a time. Sam released a small giggle at their daughter's actions._

They sat together for a while before Sam took Grace home because she was getting tired. She promised to come back the next day in the late morning to have lunch together. If Jack thought he slept poorly after Sam died, he was sorely mistaken. He didn't sleep at all that night. He just thought about the little girl with her mother's eyes, and he thought of her mother too.

He spent an hour or so with them in the morning and Grace hadn't burst into tears the second he picked her up, as long as she could still see Sam. After lunch, they had gone back home and Jack had trudged back into the mountain, and spent time with Teal'c and Daniel for a while before Hammond called him in. He was free to go home the next day.

If Jack thought he didn't sleep at all the night before, he definitely didn't sleep that night. Sam and Grace picked him up the next morning; this morning.

He had spent all day with them. They played with Grace, they took a long walk outside. They took a nap on the couch. He had fallen asleep with Sam tucked into his side and Grace resting on his chest. He had woken up to the sound of both of them laughing.

He was supposed to have put Grace to bed a while ago, but he couldn't seem to put her down. He couldn't get enough of her. He wanted to hold her all the time.

Jack tipped his head back against the top of the chair and rocked back a little further. It had been a very long time since he had rocked a baby, even longer since he had rocked his own. He placed a kissed to the top of her head and closed his eyes. She was perfect.

"Jack," Sam said from the hall.

He opened his eyes just enough to see her leaning against the doorframe. "You were right," he said softly, rubbing Grace's back, "She is perfect."

"You like her?" Sam asked.

Jack continued to smile. "I love her."

He could almost hear her smile. "Jack," she said again, causing him to open his eyes and look at her.

She was wearing an off white silk nightgown. He recognized it. He was the one who bought it for her. Well . . . He had bought one for his wife, and her husband bought that one for her . . . But they were trying to ignore those distinctions now. As far as the world was concerned, he was her husband. The look on her face reminded him of that.

"Your daughter is asleep, but your wife is not," she said with an irresistibly soft smirk.

Jack, being the smart man he was, stood carefully, and placed Grace in her crib. He put her teddy bear right next to her. Running his fingers along the side of her face, he smiled before turning to his wife.

Sam held her hand out to him, which he took. She gently led him out of the room, pausing for him to close the door slightly, and down the hall to their own room.

He glanced around the room, still somewhat surprised that it was almost exactly like the room he had lived in up until a few days ago. When he turned back to Sam, her eyes were far away. He slid his body closer to hers. "What?"

She smiled and threaded her arms behind his neck. "I was never pretending."

- . - FIN - . -


End file.
